I know, I know. I have been absent from NuMu! Don’t worry, I have still been writing. This is just a weird little update for those of you who might be interested in me. This post is also a bit of a copout because I do not have a core and direct post I am prepared to post at the moment. I thought it best to provide a bit of self-reflection in different areas of my life. First, to help you to get to know me. Second, to get the words in my head into comprehendible (semicomprehendible sentences).
August In Summary
So I posted at the beginning of August then completely ghosted all of you avid readers, yes all 2 of you. August was a weird month where a large number of things did not want to work the way I wanted them to. At the same time, a lot of clarity and refreshed focus come from this month.
A Less Productive August
My work projects became a hurry up and wait scenario. For those of you who don’t know, I run a nonprofit that helps Christian organizations with their online presence and marketing. From trying to get established as a nonprofit and helping multiple churches and organizations it seemed like nothing wanted to go as planned. So a large amount of my energy was diverted into trying to make things go my way. This was not the appropriate reaction as I will explain.
At the same time, I had runners knee which resulted in less running, less self reflection time and less motivation time. Yes, I get energy and motivation from running. This made me realize how important it is for me to keep my habit going as we enter the winter months.
I’ve also been job seeking. I am honestly unsure if I should be, but as I am it seems like we get to the end of the interview process and then bam! a little snag or technicality keeps me from being able to take the job or them offering the job. This has been aggravating and a major time investment as well.
The Good of August
The good things that came from August were all rooted in moments of clarity. One of those moments were in my relationship with God. My natural reaction when things do not go my way is to throw myself fully into them until they do. But that is wrong. I should take it to God first and give it to Him. I have had this struggle my whole life and it is undoubtedly rooted in pride. The satisfying thing I found this month was how quickly I realized it. Normally, I will wrestle with God and try to control things for such a long period of time before I give it to Him. This time I recognized it within 2 weeks and as able to be more effective and grow in my relationship with Him.
The other great thing that happened this month was a little trip up to mount Washington for a weekend hike. I went with my friend Cian and we had wonderful conversations reflecting on the world and life in general. I hope to write a blog post about this soon.
Another fun and a relaxing thing that happened was going to a traditional bow shoot with my friend Ned and two younger guys on and Max. It was such an amazing day and it is becoming a pretty long post that I’ve been writing on and off for the past month!
What Have I Been Writing
In the intro I mentioned that I have still been writing, so what have I been writing about if not on here? I have been world building. I am finally ready to create my fictional realm where my stories will come alive! It has been years of trial and error, creating and destroying, writing and rewriting. Now, I believe I have a strong foundation for the world I will create and a collection of stories I hope to write in my life time.
And I hope some of you may read.
In Conclusion
The past month wasn’t a waste and wasn’t terrible. I simply do not see the fast return from the time invested. That is one of the most difficult things in personal solo work. There is no paycheck to give you the feeling of return from your time investment, no employer giving you a pat on the back. In this world of being your own boss it is a struggle to keep working, not knowing if it will be all in vain.